So, in less than one month now we are set to reaffirm our marriage vows after 25 years of living them. It’s coming quick. I may be getting cold feet! I mean, really, this is a big set of promises and I’ve been soul-searching. I’m a little wiser now at 45 than I was at 20, and I have the benefit of hindsight here. I’ve been learning this guy for 24.5 years longer than when I agreed to marry him the first time. A girl gains some insights in that amount of time. And really people, I’m thinking we might actually be poorly matched. Maybe I should call the whole thing off. I mean look at this list of incompatibilities:
- He’s a night owl. Good God, how can I be married to a night owl? I go to bed by ten every night and nine would be nicer but I have kids folks. I’m up with the sun and happiest then. G is asleep for the best part of my day! And he’s abandoned for the best part of his. We have irreconcilable circadian rhythms.
- He likes spicy food. I’m Irish. Potatoes, meat, blandness is my comfort. Crushed red peppers are for madmen. Hot sauce on chicken wings is just wrong. Irreconcilable taste buds.
- He hates bugs. Which means lovely warm summer evenings by lantern light sipping wine on the back patio, enjoying each other’s company as the day winds to a close – ya, nope. Walks in the woods or hiking or camping, not so much. He gets eaten – for real. It’s true. Our attractiveness to insects is incompatible.
- He doesn’t like escargots. This could be a deal breaker right here. How can I even respect that people? How?
- He reads sci-fi. Not interested. Sorry.
- He’s a geek. Makes my eyes bleed with the details of the inner workings of anything technology based. Blah, Blah, Blah. I know how to hit backspace alright? Who needs more?
- He’s hot. Not hawt, though that works too, but hot. I am cold. Hot. Cold. Windows open/closed. Fireplace on/off. Furnace up/down. Sweaters on/off. We are inner thermostat imbalanced.
- He leaves crumbs on my cooktop. That is justifiable homicide. I. Don’t. Like. It.
- Despite a quarter century of exposure, I still don’t get what’s funny about human flatulence. We have irreconcilable views about humour.
- Although the man is brilliant, and might be able to think through just about anything, he cannot figure out how to drink all the coffee in his mug, then rinse and put it in the dishwasher. There’s smart, and then there’s tidy. I love the smart, but I want the tidy folks. If I pick up one more mug from a wayward place and find one mouthful of cold coffee in the bottom…well…just…well. We have irreconcilable tidy habits.
Do you see where I’m going with this people? We have a lot of differences. And we KNOW they aren’t changing. We are halfway-to-ninety and this is only going to get worse. Messy/Tidy, Hot/Cold, Spicy/Bland, Morning/Night… and this is only what came to my head in a moment’s rush. There are SO many other things that have the potential to annoy the crap out of me (hope he doesn’t pick this post to do with his own perspective).
Maybe I should just say it’s been a slice, shake hands, call the ceremony off, notify our guests, cancel the caterer, and the officiant, and the musician, and the kids.
Oh ya, the kids. Right. Hmmmm. We both like them, a lot. And we did work hard to make them. And raise them. And love them. And make a family for them. We do see eye-to eye there. We have lots of fun around here – okay, G does make me laugh. He’s hot but that makes for nice warm hugs and hand holds. He’s messy inside, but you could eat off our front yard after he finishes mowing, weeding, sweeping and such. And he is a geek but that’s why I have this blog…
Oh, alright. I guess I’ll do it.
27 Days until #champagne25
It’s funny how we learn to live with the differences and how, eventually, we realize those differences aren’t bad, just different. I’m interested in Gary’s take on this
I should have included what we call his Black Hole time. Once he doesn’t do something for awhile it disappears and may, or may not, ever get done. Blogging is currently on the black hole list. YOu can nudge him. See, I didn’t say nag, I said nudge, as a good wife should
Love. You. Both.
We. Love. You. Back.
I am giggling uncontrollably over this post! I think G should do this one from his perspective, because I can only imagine that would be equally giggle worthy! They say opposites attract! You guys are the living proof!
I think he should too. I can’t imagine putting up with my habits and preferences all the time. Glad you got the giggles.
Hmm…seems I’ll need to blog later
And if you do decide to call it off, let me know so I can call off the “Full Monte Geeks” dance troop. I’ll hate to lose the $5 deposit but that’s life.
<3 G.
Oh, I just needed to bait you to get you to blog? I can bait more if you like…
And The Full Monte Geek dance troop sounds entertaining, sorta.
Inspite of all the issues I really think you do need to go ahead with the ceremony – maybe change the vows a bit – on the other hand not a good idea because it would take forever and really “things” won’t change if they haven’t for the last 25 years.
Anyway Gary is a super guy – neat or messy and you both make a fabulous couple
We will let you know if we cancel. You’ll need somewhere to wear your dress.
I could have written this word for word. Sounds exactly like Frank and I. And if you guys have made it 25 years, it gives me loads of hope that we will too.
I’m so glad it gives you hope. It is possible to live and love for a long time!
I love this post! I have nowhere near 25 years under my belt, but i’m hopeful I’ll get there someday! Even if he sometimes drives me crazy.
Who needs to know how the media player works anyways? I mean, really?
Indeed? And who cares really? The intention to get there together is the most important thing.
Couples that are too much alike are boring and annoying, IMO. The differences are what make it interesting and allow you to keep yourself within a marriage instead of losing your individuality.
Congrats on 25 years.
Thanks Annie. We don’t suffer from too much alikeness, that’s for sure
But I agree that this is what keeps us individuals and interested in our relationship with each other.
Forge on, people.
Swing those windows open and closed. Send him to the grocery store — with a list. Entice him out into the backyard at dusk (before you go to bed at nine)… to see your new gadget. You can tune out the tech blah blahs cheerfully cuz you get to eat his share of the escargots.
(Really, Mary. He might be keepable…. What do you say, G?)
Ah, the master of the compromise. You are most wise Pam! G’s in. If I’m in.
Oh,…. how D and I can soooo relate. It’s amazing the bond that keeps us fighting for each other and not against. The universal workings I shall never understand, but what happens right in front of your face over and over leave me balding. I know I can load a dishwasher better than my better half, …it’s because I practice playing Tetris. With all quirks aside, we are fortunate to share our lives with another human that puts up with our shit as equally as we do theirs.
Congratulations to you for hanging on to that big lug…. you’ll thank him again later for doing the same with you.
Maybe that should be our reaffirmation vows should say: I promise to put up with your shit as much, or more, than you put up with mine. I will love you all the days of my life, lol. Seriously, we are fortunate and I am thankful that he hangs on with me every day.
25 years? Congrats! And how exciting that you are renewing your vows.
At least you know the next 25 won’t be dull. After all, it is our differences that make us interesting to one another.
We celebrate our 25 just as you embark. How neat. And no, life with G has never, never been dull!